Kar Wai's Theory

i think i could relate to kar wai's new found theory,
the theory of 'Stranger-Ship in a Relation-Ship' ^^

i cannot find any words to describe my current situation,
my life now at this state can only be described as 'messy', and even that cannot fully picture what is happening...

i have never felt so hopeless, so uncertain, so.... empty as today..
we love each other so dearly, and yet we chose to stay apart,
no explanation was needed, no words were spoken,
we understood, this is the best for both of us.
even though i can see the love slipping away from us, i could not decide whether to hold on to it, or to just let it flow, such dilemma.
as i had said, i choose to go with the flow...

this is when the Stranger-Ship arised in our Relation-Ship...
we were once so closed, no secrets between us, we could discuss about everything, i would miss you every minute, wondering what you are up to, the bond between us was so strong, our dearest friends are still very shocked why we broke up in the first place.

we broke up because our personalities were so alike and yet so different.
we broke up because our vision and life path for the future were so alike but yet so different.
i know it makes no sense, but then, this is the strange part of the relationship.

i understand, we could never be like before,
i understand, letting each other go is only a matter of time,
we are still stubbornly grasping on to something, because we know, if we let go, we will be left with nothing at all...
what is that thing, we do not know, this is the uncertainty we are willing to gamble on.
maybe if we hold on to each other long enough, something would happen to bring us back together again,
maybe if we hold on to each other long enough, we would understand that we could still live together happily despites our differences.

this is the strange part of the relationship...
deep inside us (at least for me), we know this would not work,
i know that we are just wasting time, hoping it would be easier and less hurtful to let go,
we made an agreement to not see each other so often,
because we knew the flames will start burning again soon ^^
we love each other so much, that we understand being together would only hurt each other more...
we love each other so much, we are willing to let go....