Mixed Feelings

you know y i love the beach so much?
because i love how the wind goes through my hair,
i love how the sea smells, and the sound of the wave,
it makes me feel calm, and everything will be alright.

haih~~
i feel things have gone to a serious stage..
really really serious..
so serious until i feel afraid.
so serious until i feel like crying already.

our relationship has always been in a fast forward mode,
but i thought feelings this deep should come much later...
not so soon,
not now...
this is why, i always insisted time alone,
i always insisted time spent away from each other,
because i need time to calm down and think..
i need time to analyze and decide..
i cannot let my emotions run my heart...

words are not enough to describe how i feel right now..
excited? afraid? scare? happy?

it is as though, my 1st time in my 22 years of life that i felt..
a true princess..
but i am also afraid i'll lose this one day...
i can only be thankful, and try my best not to take advantage of what is given to me...
i can only try my best to treasure and make this relationship last as long as i can.

i'm glad that my birthday wish came true, but excited and a little giddy about the future with you..

Burnt Face + Fat

my life is a bit upside down d..
i'm a bit messy with my life, too much to do, yet so little time available..

went to Poppy on Saturday..
it turn out NOT to be a good day to club after all..
despite 2 people losing their handphones,
i burnt my face...
somebody actually accidentally used a ciggarette to burnt my face.
my face has a big scar now.. i donno wat to do except to minimise the time i spent lookin at d mirror.

even after everything..
i sense hope..
maybe because i think i see a sign..

i will try my best to work hard towards the 'sign'
i will pour in my heart n soul n everything i have..
because i really cannot accept failing anymore..
this is not what i am suppose to be doing..
i cannot imagine my life 5 years later if i continue doing what i'm doin now..
this is not what i wan to do!!!

even though i noe i'm not suppose to expect but merely hope,
but i cannot take it anymore..
if i don get this, i really donno my worth and value anymore..
i cannot accept being this useless...
i cannot accept being just a plain jane...
NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO...

i noe i'm stubborn and seem like i'm acting very cow..
but pls understand the importance of this thing to me..