T.R.U.S.T

T - Truth
R - Reliability
U - Us
S - Sincere
T - Trust

these are the values that should exist in a relationship, without these, the relationship is meaningless, yet 'burdening' for the people involved.

trust need to be gain and earned, it is not to be given lightly... when you betray my trust, do not expect to be forgiven so easily, feelings are hurt and wound would not heal so easily... the scar will be there forever, to remind us of the damage done.

i believe, and truly do, that men do not change overnight.
when i sense your changes, i just kept quiet, my thought begin to wonder, trying to find good explanations and reasons for your changes.
when i believe i am deceived, i would not confront you straight away, because with all the lies you told, i cannot really differeantiate the truth from the lies..
i need to find out, i need to know..
i need to confirm my suspicions..
i believe in myself, i believe in my instincts...

if you don't love me as much, please let me know..
please let me go as i have beg you so many times..
men are selfish, but i sincerely hope that a conscious part of you would realise how hurt i am..
for once, please be truthful to me...
let me know, and please let me go...

people rarely marry the ones they truly love, they always marry the 'right' one, who conveniently is at the right time...
maybe we are meant to be... we are meant to be apart...

Kar Wai's Theory

i think i could relate to kar wai's new found theory,
the theory of 'Stranger-Ship in a Relation-Ship' ^^

i cannot find any words to describe my current situation,
my life now at this state can only be described as 'messy', and even that cannot fully picture what is happening...

i have never felt so hopeless, so uncertain, so.... empty as today..
we love each other so dearly, and yet we chose to stay apart,
no explanation was needed, no words were spoken,
we understood, this is the best for both of us.
even though i can see the love slipping away from us, i could not decide whether to hold on to it, or to just let it flow, such dilemma.
as i had said, i choose to go with the flow...

this is when the Stranger-Ship arised in our Relation-Ship...
we were once so closed, no secrets between us, we could discuss about everything, i would miss you every minute, wondering what you are up to, the bond between us was so strong, our dearest friends are still very shocked why we broke up in the first place.

we broke up because our personalities were so alike and yet so different.
we broke up because our vision and life path for the future were so alike but yet so different.
i know it makes no sense, but then, this is the strange part of the relationship.

i understand, we could never be like before,
i understand, letting each other go is only a matter of time,
we are still stubbornly grasping on to something, because we know, if we let go, we will be left with nothing at all...
what is that thing, we do not know, this is the uncertainty we are willing to gamble on.
maybe if we hold on to each other long enough, something would happen to bring us back together again,
maybe if we hold on to each other long enough, we would understand that we could still live together happily despites our differences.

this is the strange part of the relationship...
deep inside us (at least for me), we know this would not work,
i know that we are just wasting time, hoping it would be easier and less hurtful to let go,
we made an agreement to not see each other so often,
because we knew the flames will start burning again soon ^^
we love each other so much, that we understand being together would only hurt each other more...
we love each other so much, we are willing to let go....

Yes, I Am Stubborn

Yes, I am stubborn, when i make a decision, i will stick to it,
Yes, I have ZERO tolerance for stupid excuses and nonsense, and it is very difficult to convince me...
i do not give myself excuses to fail,
and hence, i do not give people around me many chances to fail...
i always think that people who find themselves reasons to fail, are those people who are not strong nor brave enough to face the truth,
so, you know why u failed, so there should not be a second time right??
when there is a second n third time, it is clearly you are not an achiever.

i have always been tough on myself,
because of this, i have always shown a strong and tough face,
i seldom show my weak and vulnerable side...
this is because i do not want people to see me failing...
it is because my ego do not let me fail...
it is not because i cannot fail,
when you want me to accept your nonsense for not able to achieve the goal,
then please give me room to fail too,
then i want you to tell me how does it feel to be let down and disappointed again and again...

i have never been unreasonable,
it is just very difficult to convince me,
so before you want to talk to me,
please prepare your script,
do not give me the opportunity to 'shoot' you back,
because i will not care for your pride,
if you want to act dumb, then you have no pride, so why should i care?
and most importantly,
please USE YOUR BRAIN before talking to me!!!!!!!!!

一步一步慢慢来~

我只想一步一步慢慢地得到我想要的东西,
其余的我不想多想...
我才21,想拥有的东西太多了,多得数不清.
我现在要做的,就是一步一步慢慢的争取我想要的.
爱情我不要再想了,该来的会来,是我的我也躲不掉.
只是现在,我很清楚我要的是什么,不要的我也骗不了自己.

RIght n Wrong

how do we differentiate right from wrong?
how do we know what is really right and wrong?
we do many things unconsciously, and many times we do what we thought it was alright, just to find out in the end what we did was wrong...
many times, we need to take into consideration many things and many ppl, and in the end, we might not find the perfect decision to please everybody..
many times, we cannot do what we want to do, because life is not as simple as 1, 2, 3...

i know wat i'm doing now is not right,
and i know one day, somebody might get hurt, including me...
i know one day i will need to pay for my actions,
and i know that day will be painful for many people...

when that day comes,
please forgive me for not having the courage to do the 'right' thing now,
when that day comes,
please forgive me for being selfish...

trust me, i have tried..
trust me, i have made effort...
but in the end, i choose to go with the flow..
because at this moment,
i really don't want to think what is right and what is wrong...

Be Strong..

to all the girls out there who are hurt by their idiotic boyfriends, in any way..
have the courage to be strong, as how you found the courage to love,
time will pass n wound will be heal, as how time made you grew the love you had for him..
the only person that can save you, is you yourself..
you are your own saviour~~

seeing my friends falling in a rut, and all i can do is to be there for them, make me feel so hopeless, yet it made me realise how strong i am, to be still able to hold on to myself, and not let my world fall apart..

but i wonder, how long can i continue this??

PS: Wah Wah n Cole... Love you~~ Stay Strong~~

Mid Term

mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term
mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term
mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term
mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term
mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term
mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term
mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term
mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term
mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term
mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term mid term

the mid term stress is catching up.....